update

So I decided to write some update since I think I didn't write long time.

Who am I?

The past weeks I was so busy and probably so happy as I haven't posted anything.

Lately I was thinking about my future. About my own life. I must not start something just because I wanna be close to someone. Right? Because if half-way I am left..... I would be in a big trouble.
I gave myself time to think about it. And I tried to imagine myself in any kind of roles.

average & extraordinary

Being independent doesn't always mean you mean you make your own decisions. But being confident about yourself. I dont know if I can say that I am independent. Because I need my friends around to tell me advices. Though I is also a good things. I make my own foundation. The bigger is a tree's root the stronger it is.

be the change you want to see

Today I just met my friend and ohhhh she is expecting a baby. If yo see a pregnant woman you might think she is doing what she is really doing. But noo nono. The only one thing that she is doing is to think about her little one under her heart.
I really look forward the time when it happens to me. I really really look forward. But it is still so many years. And if I will have a baby I will have to be in a relationship iin at least 3 years and I wanna be at least engaged.
All I do is because I know that one day I will have babies and I know how important to be that kind of parent who can be an example for the kids. Who they can follow or be inspired.
I want to be a step for my children to get one step higher.

Do I wanna boys or girls? If I get boys? perfect. Girls? Great!


I really feel sorry for those girls who already 27 but has no boyfriend. Who knows maybe I will be one of them and I will feel sorry for myself too.
But I have still 6 years to remember what I wanna. These girls are usually either not ready for a man or they have so low self esteem that a man will just not even notice them.
What is the HUGE different between a boy and a man? A man really know what he wants and he will go for it. He wants that woman? The he will pick her up no matter what. A boy wont take any effort. He will always have other options. He might have an idea but  thats is not enough. He is just testing.
A man is working on building his future. Thinks about the family and on his own carrer. A boy wont think about it. He will think about the parties that is coming up in the weekend and he is certainly sure he wont get married.
But its the same about woman vs. girl.
The people we date is a man. A pretty boy wont last. However I hear my friends saying they are not sure if they are ready for a realtionship. How pain it would be to be together all the time. Or to actually know if this relationship is worth or not. They are mainly older so they even say that 'I am running out of time to wait for the perfect guy.'
If you actually wanna know  if who is worth to be with... Just put the ugliest face you have, wear some comfortable non sexy clothes and be freak and act silly. Because this is how we actually are. If he still likes us and think it is kind of a cute thing. Then yes it definitely is worth a relationship.
Being together doesn't always mean that you talk or you always talk. Sometimes just sitting in the same room and do completely diferent things. But still you are enjoying each others company without saying any word to each other. 

Jelousy is probably something that can break a good relationship. If you think too much about the other girls will costs you your confidence.. Because paying too much attention or blowing others shine wont make you shinier.
However its good to keep in mind just in case: If the guy gets impressed by some other pretty faces then probably  he is not the kind we want.


About myself in general? I think I am happy. Or well at least I feel good. I am very excited about summer. Me and my friend will go to swimming pool soon. She actually wanted to go this weekend but the weather is so silly that nonono. Later will be better.

I met my friend I really like being with him as we can talk like really honest. And he tells me his opinion about things. He knows me like really well and he just says I am that kind of girl who lives in an other world. 
He knows that I have a boyfriend now, and he said it's very risky for me to put my trust in anybody because there are 2 kind of man. One who will use my naivety against me and one who will protect me and remind me that the world is not a kind place. 


I am finishing my degree in one year. Yay! I will take a rest  a bit and then start something new. And I wanna be a model! I mean just ask someone to take nice pictures of me.  I am still not certainly sure where I will be in 5 years but I know I will be a better version of myself.
I wanna leave this job because here I dislike some people. It doesn't really matter why but still.
Here the people are like.... they smile in your face and then boommm attack you from behind. Not everybody of course. But still..
Why to be this superficial piece of a little shit? I would love to tell them how asshole pitiful they are. But.. Would I be a better person? No. Does it matter? No. So I just ignore.
However most of the time I keep my thought for only myself. I think I am a thinker.
Just keep on. I am the change I want to see. And I can make it.

Beauty comes from the Inside - Part2

I gave more think about what I wrote.
A lot of time I was struggling how to approch people. How to start a conversation? Ask for something Or question. or give a compliment. The worse you can have is a no. Or the person would turn away.

Beauty comes from the Inside - Part1

I think I will start again yoga. Back in 2009 I was so balanced. I was jogging, I did yoga, I had a dog, I attended gym, and I was an excellent student in high school. I wanna have it back. I wasn't in love. I didn't need anybody.
What happened?

Smart woman

Today I actually went for a date. After 2 months this was the first time that I actually said yes to a guy.
Just to see how it feels like.