dream of a dream

We dont like trying out new things because we are afraid of getting addicted. We dont like risking of losing something that we have got before. We dont like take any steps to the nowhere, where we can't really know what to expect.
I couldn't help but wonder. Is love one of those addictive things that we fear to try?

I hear so many bad things. 2 of my friend just broke up. And they thought everything is okay. Then another of my friend was talking to me about her relationship. Thinking about breaking up.
They are way too much feelings to my wounded several-times-harmed heart. I worry way too much than I am supposed to.

No matter if you are happy or not. No matter if you are loved in return or not. And no matter how much you give while you dont expecting anything in back. Love hurts anyway.


About me nowadays.,,, Exam period is coming. I have 2 final in the week. One of them is a mistake..... I missed the deregister time. Grattis to myself. Anyway I can do it. Because Im gonna try. And Im gonna pass. of course. (fingers crossed)

I am truly thinking about the tattoo. I think I gave myself enough time (a year) to make myself sure this is what I want. I dont wanna tattoo because it is cool and I dont want to show it off. It represents something more to me.

Probably I wont celebrate christmas this year either. I think I am still not ready. Maybe the next year. But at the moment I so dont have the merry christas feeling. No no no.Not  at all.

I miss being creative. I actually miss reading a book. Or drawing (like learn how to draw a proper face)
. To be honest I dont even know what I want to do at the moment. I just feel like something is so not okay around me. I feel stupid. Will I ever be tired of this life? I wish I could move away. Will I ever think? :this is the life I want to live. ?