Repetitive

This was the very first time that i felt, this is my home. Tis thought attacked me on my way of coming home after a long and weird night.

And then the next question that came into my mind. Why we feel a place - or why we consider a place - HOME. I have been to so many places called ''home,, but i felt always a bit of like a homeless person.


Every now and then i feel like i need a change. I tend to go repetitive. My days. My habits. My hours.   I realised it, when i was standing in the bus stop, waiting for the numer15Y bus. I could see coming the number 23. The bus driver had a fast look at me,  and kept the speed above 30km/h, passing me by. I was standing there and suddenly i realised my days re the same. Every single day repeats itself. After havin a deep look in myself, i somehow find out i need to be more active, proactive. I need more joy, fun, silly ideas. Shots, parties. And braveness. Care less about fears. A lot of ppl doesnt make cerain things because they are afraid of themself. Or of rumours.


I miss the calm morning coffees in the balkony, while i was bathing in the sunshine. I miss the huge spacious living room with a 5.1 stereo around. I miss the morning walks, or late night walks along the river.
I feel here home, but this is just a temporary feeling replacing the thought that suggests im a bit of a homeless person. My real home is far away. Far far away from here.