Forgiveness doesnt always happen with a Sorry

They say forgiveness is the most important thing. Through my life we all learn a lot of things. We know how to solve equations, we know the water is H2O nd we know the writers life and of course we know how the chemical formulas are, and how to count amper. But when we finish, we forget the rest of it, and should start all over again and when im in real life, no one explains me how to send an envelop, and how to address it, how to read the electric meter, and look out you need only the last numbers not all of them, and no one explained how to read my own bank account statement. 

Sometimes i feel like i am a 20 years old, sometimes i turn into a 50-year-old lady and id rather home ith my cat and cry back my past. I tend to pass things around me, taking it naturally. But now me and Zani have decided to take photos of everything we pass, and that made us feel differently. Or that we think, it is beautiful. Clouds? Flowers? Street? A bunch of trash? Who cares. We should pay more attention on the feelings we get. And taking a photo all of them, and send each other, it makes everything last mich longer than a fast glimpse.

Family dinner. The word "family" sounds a bit weird. Meeting everybody who knows me since i was born, but still doesnt know me. I am 20, i am young, i change just as much as the seasons. I wanna do everything all at once, wanna try, wanna taste, wanna touch. Which is normal. 

Everybody has a dark side. And the opportunity is given. Keep close to myself, and remember, or let it go, and let the wind blow away. 

For nearly 3 years now i kept it close to myself, remember and let not heal that huge black empty hole. Forgiveness is the attribute of strong, as they say. 

We cannot forgive someone by a fast decision. I can say, sure it is fine, if in my heart i dont agree. The questions are. Am i ready to let it go? 

I knew i couldnt avoid meeting my own memories, or fears, or thoughts. Whatever. Life is long, and its only the beginning. There will be still a lot of ocassion when i wont be able to simply turn my head away and pretend not to hear the words. I will still learn a lot of things, which i still dont know when and how, but i am sure life exactly knows which path is for me. But above of all, by now i understand that forgiving means to say thank you for all the experience i ever got.

 ....And by now i am ready to say thank you for everything that was given to me.