inner power

I have to study quite a lot. But Im not studying all the time. I dont actually know whether im tired or just simple lazy. I often end up thinking. Just about eveything.

I am here. I am studying. I am doing my university. I am going forward. But sometimes I have no clue what the hell I will be doing with 2 diploms in my hands. All I know that I will not stay here.

But the past weeks I just realized how will I be able to leave? I'ts just 1 year that I started here and I found some friends. And I graduate sooner then them. I have only 2 more years. They have still 4 years. And if I stay here another still 2 years I will probably find more reason to stay. Or have a deeper friendships. Or even more?! Before I came here I had no reason to stay. I was free. I knew I would not miss anyone from my past. But now things changed.

And when I move I will have to think of my cat as well. I know it's not a big deal. But I dont want to lose her. If I move, I will put into my garbage (I meant suitcase! god I cried i was so laughing when I reread this post. :)))) ) my clothes, my personal suffs, my diary, my laptop, and my cat. I will not going to go anywhere without this lazy  beautiful squarel-looked bitchy maouw.

I have decided to be motivated again. I dont mean now studies.I mean workouts. The past 2 months I stopped making efforts. I went to gym. That was quiet cozy. But I missed the efforts. If im doing workouts at home Im doing efforts. All my muscles stretch. And I love the feeling when I could die but I m strong and I am not going to give up, and do 40 more pushupsor sit ups or burpees or whatever! It makes me believe in myself as well. My willpower have no limits.

It's actually feels amazing when ppl/friends say, "Timi you are my motivation". When my friend goes jogging every single day. And she started jogging with me from scratch. And now she's getting ready for the maraton! yes! maraton 42 kms and run around the Balaton!
And when my friend tells me. I did home-workout because you motivates me. Because you do it. You always do it. So I do.

Or when they call me, or msg me, and ask my advice How the hell did I get rid of 20 kilos. Because yes, I was quite fat. Even if now it's not noticable.
Or when my friends say I know you Timi, I know you are a hardworking girl, and you never give up.
It means to me a lot. Whenever I think. I can not do it. Those people appear and gives me strength. All I can say is just... Thank you so much!