WHAT?

One Thing I dont understand at all

I dont really understand why people not straight. Of course not true in every case. But whatever the thing is. Hate someone? Tell her! Like someone? Tell her!
It's really true about me as well. If I like someone, I would never tell him. Except if im drunk. Then probably the only one thing I say is that "I like you and I like you. And..hm... Have I mentioned before..I DO LIKE YOU?".  Just to make him sure how I feel. Because. - And get back to the beginning. - Even when im drunk I exactly know:  when im sober I would never ever tell him how I really, truly feel about him.
Probably, or surely...? I think the main reason why ppl hold back their real feeling is because they are afraid of the rejection. or of the prejudice? or of the outrageous situations.
If I liked someone.... I would follow my heart, and probably I would pick up my phone and send an sms immediatly like "I am in love with you. Could you just tell me please if you feel the same? " But like everyone else Im also afraid of rejection.
But everytime I think about it I realize. It's just one rejection. Who the hell cares? Seriously.. But to avoid this moment (because it's like literally only one moment of a lifetime) we get the other option: let days (or years) pass and keep hoping for something which is not even sure.
I wonder how much energy could be saved.
The only one thing I know about it is:
Dont hope. Hope dies last. (because it's the murderer!)  BOOOM

ooohhh, ...

Schöner fremder Mann

Du bist lieb zu mir

A'Schöner fremder Mann

Denn ich träum von Dir

Doch am Tag gehst Du

Mit einer anderen Frau vorbei

ooohhh, ...

Du gehörst zu ihr

Und ich bin allein

Nur in meinem Traum

Darf ich glücklich sein

Glücklich sein mit Dir

Denn nur im Traum gehörst Du mir

Und werden auch Jahre vergehen

Ich weiß, ich liebe nur Dich

Es wird solange ich lebe

Keinen andern geben für mich, yeah yeah yeah yeah

Schöner fremder Mann

Einmal kommt die Zeit

Und dann wird mein Traum

Endlich Wirklichkeit

Schöner fremder Mann

Dann fängt für uns die Liebe an

Und werden auch Jahre vergehen

Ich weiß, ich liebe nur Dich

Es wird solange ich lebe

Keinen andern geben für mich oh oh oh oh

Schöner fremder Mann

Einmal kommt die Zeit

Und dann wird mein Traum

Endlich Wirklichkeit

Schöner fremder Mann

Dann fängt für uns die Liebe an

ooohhh, ...

Surviving Christmas!

As everyone knows - or no one - I kinda hate christmas. Since it's the " holiday of family ". Yesterday my dad just called me out of nothing, he would come today. I was like. Good. I didn't want to meet him yet.

Today as I wake up, I was kinda nervous, I simply wanted to put my pillow on my head and stay like that the whole day. 

but que hacer.....I got up though. 

My dad arrived. we were kinda looking each other's face had nothing to tell each other. Then after one hour, it was getting better. And then we were talking. 

So alles zusammen... it was nice. I am happy that we could talk. about his life, about my life. I am relieved! YAY

a good driver never gets his eye off of the road while driving! BOOOOM!

we went to a restaurant. I totally forget to take picture of the food, so I took a picture of it when I finished. haha.. It's still looks good anyway

Of course. Mozzarella. I am in love with Mozzarella.....

After I got home, just simply tried to clean the flat, and order things. I like keep my stuff in order. Why? I dont know. But when my things in order, I feel like my mind is clear as well. And im more balanced. 

First I actually had no clue what to put in that vase. So I put a napkin into this. I tried some origami but my "art" just totally reminded me of the shape of a woman pussy. So I decided just simply put it into that stuff. 

I also got some cakes! mmm Yummy!!! Just simply love it. 

.....Yesterday I watched a movie with my lovely friend, and we watched "Surviving Christmas" 

Renting a family for christmas?! Totally accepted. 

Maybe when Im older, and end up being alone at christmas time, I will  be doing the same!

New Years Resolutions

So! Now that I survived the end of the world, It's time to announce my NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. 
I do it every single year. Even if I give a shit after, it's good to know how Iam supposed to live. 

So!



1. I quit artificial sweeteners
Yes! This is I think one of the most important thing. As it's about my health. Eatinga small amount of sweetener is ok. But since I am a HUGE caffee drinker, it means like 15 piece of sweetener / day. That is a lot. And now probably I dont see the effect. But later... BOOOO. I will use sugar instead. And since it has calories, I hope it will help me to cut down my daily cofee as well!
I have actually started it like a week ago. It works. I drink coffee just 3 times. Morning, daytime, and night. YAY!


2. I will cook more often
The thing is that I love cooking, and I actually can. But I didn't really cook. Or well lately Ive been a lot more adventurous. But still.


3. Dream Bigger
No matter if I will make them true or not. I dream without boundaries and follow the whisper of my heart. For a better me, and for a better life. 


4. Go to gym at last 100 times. 


5. Be more creative
I want to knit. And paint. And draw. And sing. And taking photos. And ETC


6. Write 10 monthly goals. 


8. Believe in myself 


9. Go to Church at last once in 3 months
Dont overstep the mark.. :D For a beginning good enough. 

10. And the last one: As Lenin said long time before: Учиться, учиться и еще раз учиться!!! 

me singing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Timi style

first exams

I had this week 2 exams. and 1 is tomorrow. And I passed both. it was

• Introduction to Slavistic Studies. It was just a 'must-pass' exam, or something like that. I am really happy that I passed at first try! It was the hardest one in my 'Slavistic Studies'. The final will be in January. So I have time to prepare.
• Arts and Information Sciences. Well I didn't studied that much for this exam. Because both exam was on the same day. Both equal with a final. Aaaand I passed this one too. Why I am extra super-duper happy? It is 5 CREDITS!!!!!  

Next final is tomorrow. Introduction to Buddhism Philosophy. I really like this, and its thoughts. But I have never took any exam of buddhism. Will I pass? I think so. I hope so.

Positie attitude... I will pass it. I can do it.

sing sing sing harmony

this is how I feel about exams:D

Studious!

The past weeks Ive been

 .....studying.

 .......and studying. 

.........and studying.

 BOOO
 I have ~14 exams, and I still haven't done any. But studying.
 The next week Ill have 3 final exam. The one (slavistic) is a LOT. And hard. I actually wanted to have only 2 exam, but thanks to my curiousity, I have 3.

....and I was again produktive as I did my keyboard in RUSSIAN version. I need to write but I simply had no idea which letters the russian ones. 

It helps mea lot!

my "To Do List'

cheapest thing ever. I wanted to be creative. 

I just simply love it!!!

lovely winter

Things inspires me

This is a hard question and probably cannotbe answered. 

In my case.. It changes ALL THE TIME! And I find inspiration in everything. And all the time. 

But still. 

• Lyrics! 
• my future babies
• my future family

yep. Is this a utopia?

Reveal a secret language

Now I understand something that I never used to understand!
this time:

❤  Russian language  ❤

3 months ago I had no clue how to talk. I didn't even know the alphabet either.
but now.. ☝ 

 YEY!

Timeless

"Ha különösen szép múlt áll mögöttünk, szívesen gondolunk rá vissza. Ugyanakkor el is engedhetjük a múltat. Talán már öregebbek lettünk. Már elment egyik-másik vonat életünk peronjáról. Mégis vannak újabb és újabb érkező vonatok, amelyekre felszállhatunk, ha kinyitjuk a szemünket és meglátjuk őket."

Személy szerint, én nagyon szeretek az időn elmélkedni, mennyi minden történhet, és én mennyire vagyok képes mindezt befolyásolni. Mókás dolog emlékezni, és feltenni azt a kérdést

" Vajon mit gondolna rólam, a 6 éves énem, ha most szembe jönne velem? "  

Talán a legfontosabb és legmélyebb titkaink feledjük el, talán magunk miatt, talán a környezetünk miatt, vagy talán mert nem tulajdonítunk neki nagy jelentőséget. 

De azt hiszem, beérném egy titkos átjáróval is. Leülnék egy székre, és csak némán figyelemmel kísérném az életem. 

Ha ezt megtehetnénk... Ugyan az az érzés járna-e át bennünket, mint akkor? Elkövetnénk-e ugyanazon csacsiságokat, amit akkor? Talán könnyebben megértenénk, mi, miért történt, de az is előfordulhat, csak még lejjebb sodródunk a saját kérdésünk örvényében. 

De mint modnani szokás, az idő mindent megold. De mégis... Ki ne szeretne előrelátni? Olyan egyszerű kérdésekre választ kapni, mint "hol fogok élni", "hány gyerekem lesz" vagy hogy "hogy fogok kinézni?!".

A múlt emlék, a jövő titok, a jelen ajándék!

Boldog Mikulásnapot!

H ❤ a ❤ p ❤ p ❤ y 

S ❤ a ❤ n ❤ t ❤ a     ❤❤    C ❤ l ❤ a ❤ u ❤ s

My Favorites of November ♥

♥ havazás ♥ narancs ♥ publikus helyen énekelni ♥ táncolni ♥ ebédet főzni ♥ nevetni ♥ karácsonyi zenét hallgatni ♥ csók ♥ meleg vastag takaró alá bújni ♥ sétálni ♥ utcai díszítések ♥ kitakarítani ♥ új samponnal hajatmosni